Happy birthday dear Addi.

August 31, 2006 marks a huge milestone in our lives. At 4 that morning, my water broke and before we knew it…our first child entered into the world! Our sweet Addison Kate is 4 years old today. Um excuse me, but how did this happen? Just five minutes ago, I was holding her swaddled in my arms – bouncing her, singing to her, calling my mom while trying to get her to stop crying!

Now, she is 4, going on 13. Smart, curious, busy, particular, beautiful, caring, thoughtful, tender, musical, eager to please, and the list goes on and on. She is one amazing little girl! I told her this morning…”Addi, I LOVE to be your mommy.” And I do. I feel so incredibly blessed to have both of  our two beautiful daughters!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

Fruity

Ryan has been working on painting the girls pictures for their room. I love them so much! A few weeks back, he added the fruits of the spirit – how neat is that? Here is a pic of what they are looking like thus far…I think he’s just about done.

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-control

Fruits of the Spirit. I’ve been pondering on these words the last few days. Do I exhibit gentleness when someone cuts me off in traffic? Do I really have self-control? Do I show love to those around me? Even to those that don’t show it in return? Am I patient when my kids are throwing fits at Target?

Wow, I so want & desire to be/have all of these things. But alone, I just can’t. I’m a human, what can I say? But thankfully, because of the SPIRIT that resides within me, I can be kind when I want to yell. I can have joy, when my heart is breaking. I can have peace in times of turmoil. God is awesome like that. The older I get the more I realize how much I truly need the Lord. Daily. In every single area of my life. And the more I press into and focus on Him, the more fruit I will bear. More of Him, less of me.

I am thankful for the fruits of the Spirit and I want to be more fruity!

The Uphill Battle

Yesterday, I went out for my long run for the week. I was actually really looking forward to this run. Sometimes you dread it, sometimes you are pumped up. This particular morning, I was pumped & ready to attack the 8 miles ahead of me. I woke up before my alarm clock (rare), threw on my running clothes, pulled my hair back, grabbed a bottle of water and headed out while my husband and kids were snuggly and sleeping away in bed. I walked up the road, stretched, took a sip of water, hit play on the ipod, start on my garmin and took off.

Nice and slow, I had determined I was going to enjoy this run. And I did. There are hardly any cars on the road at 6:30 on a Sunday morning. Very peaceful. I did pass an occasional person walking their dog or other runners here and there. Tyler really is a beautiful place. I love running here. There was a slight breeze and it really wasn’t unbearably hot yet. Great run.

It wasn’t hard until the very end – when I got to the big…no, make that the HUGE hill. We like to name hills on our running routes. Usually if someone we know lives near the hill, we dub it with that person’s name. In Quitman, there is Wilson Hill and Cates Mountain. Here in Tyler, we have Death Mountain- 1/4 mile uphill by a cemetery. Well, Death Mountain was in the last stretch of my 8 miler. And it inspired this blog post.

As I approached this hill (or what really feels like a mountain after 7 1/2 miles), I took a few deep breaths before I started uphill. I focused my eyes, leaned my body forward and went for it. I have found that if I keep looking up ahead, I see how far I still have to go uphill and it discourages me. However, if I focus on a just few feet ahead of me the whole time, before I know it, I’ve made it all the way. The hills tend to slow my pace down some, but that’s OK. After I get up to the top, I regulate my breathing again, take a drink and finish out the run strong…all the while thinking, I just killed that mountain! And I’m going to be stronger because of it.

Isn’t this how life is really? We have mountains to climb and they are absolutely tiring, and hard to get over. Life is hard. There are many ups and downs, no doubt.  The older I get, the more I realize this. But the good news for us is that God promises to never give us anything we can’t bear…and He gives us the strength to get uphill. We don’t have to go at it alone. If we stay focused on Him and not look at how far we have left to climb, we will be over the hill before we know it. He is using the mountains to mold us and grow us…making us better runners in this race of life.

I have experienced many hills in life. But the death of my Dad has been the hugest mountain by far for my family and I. One that we are still climbing and stumbling on. It’s hard, I’m not gonna lie. There are times we are out of breath, don’t know how to go on, and want to quit. But through prayers, encouragement, and love, we press on. And I know, because we press on and press into God, we will be stronger because of it.

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

My husband rocks.

And here are some reasons from this week…

• He loves me when I get a big new account at work. But more importantly, loves me when the big new account falls through.
• He cooks amazing buffalo wings and french fries comparable to Buffalo Wild Wings, but I’m certain healthier.
• He challenges me to push myself in running. I couldn’t do it without coaching me…or telling to me to get my butt outta bed.
• He loves to treat the girls to cookies at the bakery, a surprise trip to the park, or anything that will make them smile. I love this.
• When I have plans with my friends that don’t include him, he misses me. It’s adorable.
• He is a good friend to his friends. True, honest, real, genuine. That’s an admirable and rare thing.
• He has a huge desire for his life to matter, to make an impact, to be a disciple of Christ. Much like another man I knew and loved…my Dad.
• He never leaves the house without hugging and kissing me. He never enters the house without hugging and kissing me either.

He’s part of that great cloud.

Several of my friends have told me recently that they think of my Dad often while they are out running & it encourages them and motivates them. I know that me, Ryan, my sister & brother don’t take one stride without thinking of him. Lauren, Jessica, Katie – Dad would tell you to run on and to keep on keepin’ on!

I continue to be so proud of him and the impact he has made & continues to make on the lives of people all over the place. As I was thinking about this tonight, this verse came to my mind…

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” – Hebrews 12:1

How neat to think that my Dad – Kip Clark – is now part of that GREAT cloud of witnesses. Wow. He’s cheering us on as we run this race called life. I have to run with perseverance!  I miss him like crazy, but I know he’ll be waiting for me at the finish line with a huge smile on his face and the biggest high five ever.

A Case of the Mondays.

Today was kind of an interesting Monday.

First let me give you some background information. Yesterday afternoon, Kam woke up from her nap saying her leg was hurting her. She was crying huge tears and asking to put ice on her leg. They think ice packs heal everything, you know. So she sat on the couch, most of the night holding a bag of frozen corn on her thigh. We thought that maybe she had run into something, hit her leg on the car door, or knocked her knee on the wall or something. She is pretty clumsy. I gave her some Tylenol because I also think she’s cutting a back tooth. She went to bed, but woke up off and on all….night….long. Felt like we were back in the newborn phase again! Poor baby. Ryan and I were starting to be more and more concerned. Hard to tell at this point if her leg was bothering her still, or if it was her teething. When one of us would pick her up to comfort her, she would squirm as though it hurt.

So, this morning she seemed alright. She kept grabbing the back of her leg or pointing to her inner thigh and was still walking with a very small limp. When I asked her what hurt, she wouldn’t respond. No fever, eating normally, smiling. So, I took her to school, as usual but filled her teachers in on what was going on and asked them to let me know if they noticed her moving strangely or acting like she was in pain. I called about 9:30 and they said she seemed OK, wasn’t walking around much and was kind of clingy. But then, around 10, they called me back. Said that she started crying when she went potty and said she didn’t want to get off the potty because it hurt. ???

So, I immediately called the doctor & tried to get an appointment. Now I’m thinking its a urinary tract infection or she’s constipated or her leg is seriously hurting her…and I’m getting very concerned. I take her straight to the doctor’s office and she examines her, watches her walk, etc. The doc was certain that she had what is called toxic synovitis in her hip. What? Sounds scary, right? She sent us over to the hospital to get a blood test done to rule out anything more severe than this toxic something-or-another. She said that if one of her counts in her blood was high, it could be something more serious and we’d have to go visit the orthopedic surgeon. Um, excuse me?!! By this point, I’m nearly in tears. Being that I’m already a pretty emotional person, and in light of recent events – extremely emotional, I was trying hard to hold it together. I asked the doc if I should be stressed and if I should cry…to which she answered no. What else was she supposed to say to that question? She assured me that she didn’t really think it was serious, it was simply a precautionary measure. Breathe in, breathe out.

So, I call Ryan and he meets us to go to the hospital. We get the blood work done – Kam was a champ. Never cried, just said “ouch” when they pricked her, and was such a big girl! We were proud. We got the results back and her count was low, it was definitely this toxic hip thingy, which apparently is very common and treated with Motrin. Thank you Lord! Oh, and I forgot to mention – she has an ear infection too. My poor baby! So, most likely what happened is that she has an ear infection and the infection got in her hip, causing pain. Ryan took her to the bakery to get a cookie this afternoon as a treat…she picked out the gingerbread girl.

So, I tell you this story for two reasons. One, pray that my baby girl heals quickly…it breaks my heart seeing her pain. Second, all you moms out there – if your child says their leg hurts & they’ve recently had a cold/infection – it very well could be their hip. I had never heard of this before! I’ve always thought that one of the hardest things about parenting (thus far) is when something is wrong with your baby and they don’t know how to tell you and you don’t know how to help them.

Now, getting ready for bed to see what Tuesday brings…

If we ever get the chance…

On Thursday morning June 3rd, the day before he passed, I received an email from my Dad. He used to send early morning emails a lot to his kids. I think he liked to start our days with a note of encouragement, to tell us he loved us, or just to simply say how proud he was of us. These emails always made me smile. Little did I know when I read it that particular day, it would be the last one I would ever receive from him. The last words from my Dad to me. Ever. I have not deleted this from my inbox & I doubt I ever will.

Here are the last lines from that email…

“If we ever get the chance to do the train ride to Dallas thing – it is great!  I am pretty sure your girls would be bored to death with the 6th Floor Museum though, so something else would have to be done to entertain them for the 4 hours in downtown.  You and Ryan would love the trip, the museum.  Of course, you would need me to go so you would have a tour guide.  🙂 Have a great Thursday.  I love you much.”

This email is a constant reminder to me that we have no clue what tomorrow may bring, so we have to make the most of each & every day!